Lakers and Dodgers Success Leaves This Fan Cold

June in Los Angeles and two of the hometown teams are at the top of their game. The Dodgers have the best record in baseball and the Lakers are in the NBA Finals for the second year in a row. So why is my mood as dark as the fog that lingers outside my window? Why am I am not giddy with the anticipation of a another championship for a city that hasn't won one since 2002? Is it because I no longer feel a part of the teams I grew up with? I think that's the answer. Now I have to find out why.

When the Lakers moved from the Inglewood Forum to the cavernous Staples Center in 1999, they alienated a large portion of their fan base in the process. The Forum had no luxury boxes, nothing to divide the upper class from the middle, and plenty of affordable seats for the average fan. The Staples Center has not one, but THREE levels of luxury suites. Below them are seats that only the wealthy can afford, and above them are seats not worth sitting in at any price. They are so far away from the action-be it a game or a concert-that I wouldn't sit there even if I had a free ticket! That's exactly what happened on October 17, 1999 when I saw Bruce Springsteen perform at the grand opening of the Staples Center. I was given a ticket in the upper level and after the first song I snuck down to the floor level. It was either that or go home. I know its a cliche but one really needs a telescope and an oxygen mask when sitting in the third level at Staples Center.

Bruce Springsteen apparently feels the same way about the place. On opening night he implored the people to come out of their luxury boxes and join the party. He later called the building a "barn" which is an understatement. A real barn has more atmosphere than the sterile Staples Center. Maybe that's why Springsteen has never returned, preferring the modest Sports Arena when he comes to town. Staples reminds me of ancient Rome. If you have a ticket in the upper stratosphere you have to take an escalator which passes the luxury boxes. You can see fancy buffets with carved beef and turkey, and sumptuous dessert carts being wheeled to the wealthy. But you can only watch, since the escalator doesn't even stop at that level! Talk about separating the rich from the poor.

I have another problem with the Lakers. For as long as I can remember their games have been broadcast on AM570, a powerful station and home to the late, great Chick Hearn among others. This past December the Lakers announced they are moving their games to AM710, the local ESPN affiliate. Just like the switch to the Staples Center, this one is all about the money. Forget about the wall-to-wall coverage of the team currently heard on AM570, forget about the decades of tradition. Next season the team will be competing with USC football on a station that also carries national broadcasts. Jeanie Buss-daughter of Lakers owner Jerry-had no problem in throwing AM570 under the bus even though she used to be a regular on their Laker shows. Of course this is coming from a woman who actually believes her dog has conversations with animal psychics.

As for the Dodgers, they have always been my #1 team since I went to my first game at Chavez Ravine in 1966. Since then I have been to countless sporting events all over the country. There's one thing that separates Dodger Stadium from all the others: NO TAILGATING ! For many years the security turned a blind eye to those enjoying a discreet beer in the parking lot. Now they are writing tickets and telling people to leave their cars the minute they pull into a parking space. Like I said I have been to hundreds of concerts and games and NEVER have I been told that I could not sit in my car for as long as I wanted. Hell, for $15, I should be allowed to sleep there!

This is all because of Frank McCourt, the former parking-lot proprietor from Boston who bought The Dodgers in 2004. Since then he has done everything possible to alienate the average fan. Besides raising prices on everything from tickets to parking to concessions, he's also done his best to separate the wealthy from everyone else. The Field Level has been remodeled with new bathrooms and fancy wine bars. Same with the second tier and the dreaded luxury boxes. Above them is the reserved level where nothing has changed since McCourt bought the club. Of course, those sitting in the reserved level are not allowed below.

Outside the ballpark his obsession with parking involves "funneling" many lanes of cars into one or two, so his goons can exercise as much control over the fans as possible. Last month I saw the "Parking Nazis" issuing some sort of tickets to a couple guys drinking beer in plastic cups. Which made me wonder how come a team with the reputation of the Oakland Raiders can allow full-blown tailgating while the Dodgers are busting people for a single brewski? Either the Dodgers have the most violent fans in sports or Frank McCourt is a control freak who has taken the fun out of going to a game. I believe its the latter.

If the Lakers and Dodgers go all the way, I hope the rich people stick around for the celebrations. After all, that's who the teams are really playing for this season.

Champions League Final Fits This Angry Dodger Fan Just Fine

On May 7th Dodger fans were stunned to find out that one of their heroes was a fraud. Manny Ramirez was suspended for fifty games after testing positive for an illegal drug. Manny was the guy who single-handedly revived a moribund organization with his hot hitting and flamboyant personality, leading them into the playoffs last year. This season the team anointed a special section of seats in left field as "Mannywood" and sold numerous souvenirs with the same moniker. Now those seats should be called "Fannywood" because that's what the slugger will be sitting on until July 3rd. It's enough to make a long-time Dodger fan sick.

I began to wonder if there is a sport where athletes don't cheat with steroids, and I started to think about football, but not the American kind. In the NFL you've got bozos shooting themselves in the leg at a nightclub or training dogs to fight one another. It's an exciting game when the players are actually playing, but how come it takes over three hours to play a game that has sixty minutes on the clock? Not only are there countless commercials but now there's the dreaded "referee replay" time-outs which can delay a game for several minutes. It's extremely frustrating to be sitting in the bleachers when it's 30 degrees outside while the players stand around on the field doing nothing. The NFL has made a bloated spectacle of itself.

Pro basketball is a fast-paced game with incredible athletes. The only problem is you have to look at these guys. Most of them have more tattoos than a circus freak. They travel around the country with their posses and act like rap stars. Even the biggest star in the NBA-LeBron James-has overshadowed his team's success by crowing about his upcoming free agency. For some reason the NBA loves to draw out the playoffs, making them almost as long as the regular season, which adds to the tedium of an already ridiculously long season.

So I think about football, the kind that takes 90 minutes to play and two hours to watch. There's only one other major sport that takes so little time and it's college basketball, perhaps the purest game left in the USA. The football I'm talking about takes place across the pond, played in historic cities like Liverpool, Barcelona and Milan. I'm talking about soccer, a game I've grown to appreciate more and more as I get older.

My first attempt to understand the game started out poorly. In 1994 the USA hosted the final match of the World Cup, just down the road at the Rose Bowl. I gathered with a group of similarly curious fans only to watch Brazil and Italy play to a 0-0 tie. How can you end up with a tie in your sport's biggest game? (Brazil eventually won on penalty kicks). That ended any interest of mine in the sport that just seems boring whenever it's played on US soil-something even David Beckham couldn't fix!

However, two trips to England in 1997 and 1999 and watching matches on TV with the locals spiked my curiosity once again. A couple of years later I began working side by side with a football fanatic whose favorite team was Manchester United. I began to watch the Sunday morning matches on the Fox Soccer Channel, usually featuring my favorite team Liverpool. As a life long Beatles fan it was a logical choice. Someday I hope to be at Anfield Stadium so I can sing "You'll Never Walk Alone" as The Reds enter the stadium. Hearing it on TV gives me goose bumps!

In time, I discovered that many football matches can be dreadfully boring - usually due to conservative play when a team is trying to protect its aggregate lead in the standings (or fixtures)-but at least that kind of "prawn sandwich" only takes up two hours of my time. There are no TV time-outs or replay time-outs to bog down the action. When there is action, it can be breathtaking, and that kind of play is usually found in the Champions League.

A series of matches from fall to spring, the Champions League is exactly as it sounds: the best of the best competing for the coveted title awarded at the end of May. This is where you'll see legends like Lionel Messi, Didier Drogba and Ronaldinho on the pitch. This is the title that Liverpool won in 2005 with one of the greatest comebacks in sport history. Down 3-0 at the half against AC Milan, the "scousers" (led by my favorite player Steven Gerrard) came back to tie the match and eventually win on penalty kicks. It was the match that finally made me a fan of the sport I'd disdained for so long.

So I'll be watching on May 27th when heavily favored Manchester United takes on Barcelona in the Final at Stadio Olimpico in Rome. United will be led by arguably the best player on the planet, Cristiano Ronaldo and his all star teammates Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs.
Barcelona will counter with Messi and Thierry Henry as one of the biggest TV audiences on the planet looks on. That audience won't have to worry about one of the sport's biggest stars serving a fifty game suspension and missing out on the action. That audience will be watching one of the last "pure" sporting events on the planet. That audience is in for a hell of a match.

Dodgers Camel Ride Is Too Costly

Dodgers, oh Dodgers. Why has your name become synonymous with frustration? What happened to the team I grew up with that got everything right? Is it because your owner somehow manages to get everything wrong?

Okay, not everything. Camelback Ranch-the new spring training facility in Arizona-has plenty of delightful little details. Yet Frank McCourt somehow manages to miss seeing the big picture in everything he does and his latest venture is no exception.

Spring training used to be a low-cost venture for fans who wanted to get a head start on the baseball season. Especially those in cold weather climates who needed a break from the snow. The ballparks in Florida and Arizona were small and so were the ticket prices. When I made my first visit to Vero Beach over 20 years ago I think the top price was $20 and you could sit on the grass for $5. I'm not going to wax nostalgic about that wonderful place called Dodgertown. I suppose it was the right move for the team to move closer to their fans in Los Angeles.

Suffice to say the Vero Beach experience exceeded my life-long expectations. Camelback Ranch did not. First off, its not in Phoenix but in far-flung Glendale, one of those depressing suburbs full of tract houses waiting to be sold. No one is going to want to spend their spring break there so it means a half-hour drive from downtown, or even longer from the vibrant towns of Scottsdale, Mesa and Tempe. Considering the 400 mile drive from LA, I can't imagine anyone wanting to jump back in their car upon arrival.

Then there's the parking fetish, a phenomenon wholly unique to Mr. McCourt. This guy employs more attendants outside the ballpark than he does inside, but they don't make up for the fact it costs $5 to park in a dirt lot. At Dodger Stadium there's the strange penchant of funneling more lanes into less, and unfortunately that trend continues in Arizona.

And the micro-managing doesn't stop outside. I guess the Dodgers must have the most violent fans in sports because I saw more security personnel at Camelback Ranch than I've ever seen at LAX! My small bag was checked twice! That second check-point resulted in long lines of ticket holders waiting to get inside the actual ballpark. Many of those fans had already waited in long lines at the ticket counter in the hot desert sun. Those lines are long because the ticket booth is squeezed between the ballpark and a large pond so instead of straight lines leading up to the ticket counter, there's more funneling going on.

The ballpark is a gem. Great sight lines, friendly atmosphere, and plenty of clean bathrooms. But what does it cost to get inside? Ten bucks for the lawn is not a bad deal, and I enjoyed spreading out my blanket and taking in the game. I found a beer for $5.50 which is around the going rate for spring games, but I did not pay $4 for a hot dog (and I never will)
which costs a dollar more if you want onions and relish! No kidding! The bar-b-que and mexican food booths smelled wonderful, but those prices approached ten dollars. I thought spring training was supposed to be cheaper than the regular season! They do have beer vendors that stroll the aisles-unlike Dodger Stadium-and fans are free to mill about the entire ballpark-
unlike Dodger Stadium. The earthy tones of the complex befit the desert surroundings but charging as much for a spring game as a regular season game is ridiculous. Which explains the numerous empty seats at what was supposed to be a sure sell out.

That's the worst aspect of Camelback Ranch. The ticket prices. They charge more for so-called "premier games" which is a joke since all the games are meaningless! $45 is the top price for those games, unless you want to pay $90 to sit in the home plate club. For that price, they better send a limo to pick you up!

When I left the ballpark there were countless security guys lining the long walkway back to the parking lot. One of them actually yelled at some kids to "stay off the landscaping!" I was just happy he didn't ask to check my bag.